Fan Fiction Story & Reviews

Here's a fan fiction story from two independent reading books.

Harry had just saved Dudley’s life from the Dementors when he got attacked from two of the deadliest muggles he’d ever encountered. Harry never looked down on muggles yet he never really believed that they could ever stand a chance against him in a fight.
Harry realized that by saving Dudley’s life, he had used magic, and by using magic, he had broken the rule stated in paragraph C of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery. Well, he didn’t remember that exactly – but he knew that since he used magic in the presence of a muggle (for the second time), there was a good chance that he would be expelled from Hogwarts.
So Harry fled. Fear got hold of him. Controlled him. He couldn’t stand living with Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia and he was fifteen now, old enough to take care of himself. He didn’t have any money but he would hitch rides until he got far enough away that he could never see Dudley’s fat face again, never have to endure the attacks against him in the Daily Prophet, the stares from wizards who misjudged him. His friends? Ron and Hermione were made Prefects by Dumbledore, not him, and worst of all, they didn’t even tell him about it. He was the one who risked his life saving Cedric Diggory in the Triwizard Tournament. He deserved the Prefect badge, not Ron. At least Ron could have told him about it instead of him overhearing it from the house elf.
So that’s what Harry did. He hitched a ride without knowing where he was going. He just sat in the back of that muggle truck until the driver told him “I ain’t drivin’ no more”. When he opened the passenger door and stepped out onto the highway, he saw the sun setting on cornfields, its reflection of on an old church in the distance. In front of him, he read a slanted green sign, “Tulsa, Oklahoma”

Ponyboy and Johnny had no perception of time. All they knew was their new life as fugitives from the law, eating baloney, reciting passages from Gone With the Wind. All they knew was that they had been living in a church, that they were running out of food, and that they were alone. Alone, except for the crickets at night, and the creaking of the cracked floor when they walked, and the screeching of the church door opening…THE CHURCH DOOR WAS OPENING?
Johnny cocked his gun. Ponyboy picked up a cracked bottle. He’d use it too if he had to. The heavy door pushed open, grinding against the floor…and in walked the strangest looking boy they had ever seen.
He wasn’t a Soc nor a Greaser or someone in between. He wore thick-rimmed glasses and had a perfectly formed lightning bolt scar on his forehead. Johnny thought he must be part of a local gang. That scar must have been initiation. This boy was tough.
“Put down your stick!” Johnny yelled. The boy was holding a long object that resembled some sort of manmade stick. It wasn’t much of a weapon, Johnny thought. The boy wouldn’t put down the stick. He walked toward Ponyboy and Johnny. Johnny aimed his gun at the boy’s scar.

I already used magic in front of muggles once so what does it matter, Harry thought, so he shouted, “Stupefy!” A red light jetted out of Harry’s wand and struck Johnny. He fell to the ground, unconscious. Ponyboy ran at Harry with the bottle and before Harry could put the spell on Ponyboy, Ponyboy had hit him on the head with the broken bottle.

Ponyboy looked down at the two unconscious boys and wondered what had just happened. He didn’t know how to undo what had been done to Johnny. Would he ever wake up? He looked down at the intruder who was bleeding from the head. He would die if he wasn’t helped. Ponyboy took off his shirt and bandaged up the boy’s head with his shirt so he would stop the bleeding.
What else could he do? He didn’t know of a hospital for miles, he didn’t have any water or food, two boys were lying unconscious on the ground, or were they dead, he didn’t know, and he was scared. That’s when Ponyboy came to a realization: he’s only fourteen. He may have been through a lot in his life but as much as he didn’t want to believe it, as much as he felt invincible, that he could care for himself, for Johnny - he was fourteen years old. If Darry were here, he’d know what to do, if Sodapop were here, he’d know just what to say. Ponyboy needed to go home. And the funny looking kid lying on the church floor, well, he probably did too.

Not sure if we had to do this but here are two fan fiction reviews from fanfiction.net

“The Baseball Glove” a fanfiction story based on Catcher in the Rye by “love4books”.

Taking on the voice of Holden Caufield is probably harder than it looks. Ok, I can use the “phony” over and over again, but recreating one of the most distinct voices of all time is not an easy task. I think that “love4books” does an OK job – not particularly good, but not terribly off either. The one part that was inconsistent is when the writer talks about how people who “cause pain to others…should be taken from the world”. I don’t believe that Holden Caufield would ever wish death upon anyone. This is a bit extreme.

The most successful part of this fanfiction story, which takes place a week after Allie’s death (so before the actual book takes place) is the scene that the writer creates, rather than the parts where Holden tells us his view on the world. He tells a scene where Holden walks through his house and into Allie’s room, takes out his baseball glove, and tries to cry, but can’t. This was effective, because, sometimes writers need to just linger with their characters, put the in a scene, and see where they take them. This writer takes a small moment and recreates a scene that could have happened in Holden’s life and the halfway decent prose portrays how Holden may have dealt with Allie’s death. This was an appropriate selection on the part of this writer because Allie’s death is central to Salinger’s novel.

“Take the Long Way Home” a fanfiction story by “Ammundaea”, a modern retelling of The Odyssey

“Take the Long Way Home” is at times, a witty, modern retelling of The Odyssey, portraying Odysseus as a drunk who never goes home to see his wife. Setting the story in a bar is also a funny idea. However, the writing is filled with too much dialogue and too little substance. The attempt at a clever ending, in which Penny enters the bar, is predictable. Although this story has some funny ideas, it is ultimately an uninteresting retelling of the classic tale.